F1 Television Broadcasts Are Weak-Ass Bullshit
Who the holy fuck is in charge of Formula One television coverage? Have these idiots ever even seen any kind of actual television coverage of a professional sporting event? As a long-time fan of F1, I've had to suffer through the total lack of communication between the commentators and whoever is allegedly directing the coverage for years, and I don't mind telling you, it's starting to really piss me off. Every single race, I have to listen to Martin Brundle utter some variation of "We're watching the front-runners, but the real action is going in the middle of the pack", or "I'd like to see a replay of that last accident/pass/shunt/pitstop, but the directors obviously have other ideas". Have these fucking morons ever heard of linking up the commentary booth with the directors booth? They introduced a whole slew of rule changes this season and last, with the intention of making F1 more competitive, and thus more compelling to the viewer, but did they ever think of maybe making the telecasts more cohesive, less, I don't know...retarded? Obviously, they're airing the races in several countries simultaneously, with native-language commentators for each nation, but is there really any reason why each major broadcast can't have customized or semi-customized footage? Perhaps whoever is going to take up the challenge of hipping Ecclestone and Mosley to wonderful world of 21st century television production ("No, really guys, they can speak into this thing called a "microphone" up in the booth, and the director can actually hear what they're saying down in the production facilities!") could also introduce these fucking dimwits to a goddamn computer.
I'm not holding my breath, however.
I'm not holding my breath, however.
posted by kodos423 at 5:56 AM
2 Comments:
Yes, the coverage is total shite. The one feed for all broadcasts - I would say it appears to be directed by a roomful of monkeys but that would not account for the fact that they inevitably cut away jarringly during all-too-infrequent passing maneuvers to a backmarker, backwards and inert in a cloud of dust, moments too late to capture whatever fracas in which we may have taken our prurient pleasure. And how about this: They can put a man on the moon but they can't mount a camera on a car that yields more than three seconds of static-free footage? These cars cost about $500 million a year per team to put on the track and my driver's-eye-view is an Internet whore's webcam? And what was that camera in Brazil that followed the action a la rabbit-on-the-rail-of-a-greyhound-track? Bad fucking idea. In the NFL they have arthroscopic cameras that inspect the insides of the asses of the players even as they, er, huddle up. Overhead cameras that make you feel like you're about to tear a hamspring, blimps to put the action in the glorious context of the Pittsburgh skyline and its environs, roving sideline cameras that never fail to document the rage of the offensive line coach at the guard who has blown his blocking assignment, probing views of the luxury boxes where behind semi-tinted glass one may discern the dissolute yet adorable owner's daughter forming a wet, sensual O with her mouth at the sight of the star quarterback's exertions. So yeah. Good on ya mate.
God bless you, good sir!
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